He thinks his crotch is on fire. And, as one of the Avengers, weirder things have happened.
But there are no flames, nothing physical to fight, just a slow, persistent itching that might be enough to drive him insane. As subtly as he can, Steve readjusts his trousers in the hope that that might offer him some relief.
His walk is more of a waddle as he makes his way down the street. He feels like everybody in the vicinity is staring at him, and his other hand winds between his legs to cup himself as he walks. He wonders if his cock is going to fall off. Then he wonders if that is medically possible.
"My friend, you seem distressed," Thor observes, at his side before Steve has a chance to run and hide somewhere that he can itch all he wants.
"Nnnngf," Steve says in response.
He seems alarmed.
In his pocket, Steve’s phone starts ringing. With a distinctly un-American whimper, Steve pulls it up to his ear and answers.
"Uh, Steve?" Tony’s voice floods through the line. "Not to worry you or anything, but you might want to get back here to see my doctor."
Steve frowns. “What?”
"After last night…" Images of bare skin and Tony’s large, wonderful hands spring to Steve’s mind. The resulting twitch of his cock makes him choke on pain. "Just trust me on this one. Get yourself checked out."
The phone goes dead before Tony can give him any more of an explanation. Steve groans and replaces his hands on his crotch. He has the horrible inkling that Tony has given him the world’s first technologically enhanced STD.
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